我不明白为何到了今天我还不变。这些是幻想。我一定要对自己说， 这是幻想 ..

be a friend, a buddy better than a gf.

the best part that draws a line between a buddy and a gf.

a gf expects more, becomes more possessive and everythings just becomes worst.

but a buddy don't really expect much, some chit chat, some gossips, some laughters, lame jokes, and of cause someone to be there in times of bad.

been there, done that.
not one who will control so much, think about love anymore, aiming at my goals, earning money.
modern era, what guys can do girls can do too.
nothing beats us to it.
cause we're simply strong :D
no matter how many times you tried to beat us down, we'll play you back.
it's payback time.
retribution will come your way for sure.

女力. LOL.

手心

我一个人徘徊在我们的海
闭上眼我还记得那一天看见的蓝
爱距离也分不开
你送的贝壳还在呼唤
在耳边答应要给我未来

那一天手心里的爱我放不开
等一个人多么孤单
我一分钟又一分钟在忍耐

握紧了手心里的爱
我勇敢了起来
当你回来的时候
我一定要跟你说别再走开

我跟寂寞在比赛等你带我
手牵手一起去看全世界最美的海
泪不可以掉下来
我学着向日葵抬起头
等待着最亲爱的你回来
抱着我称赞我的勇敢

那一天手心里的爱我放不开
等一个人多么孤单
我一分钟又一分钟在忍耐

握紧了手心里的爱
我勇敢了起来
当你回来的时候
我一定要跟你说别再走开

贝壳握在手心静静的变得温暖
就像是握住一点点答案

那一天手心里的爱我放不开
等一个人多么孤单
我一分钟又一分钟在忍耐

握紧了手心里的爱
我勇敢了起来
当我祈祷的时候天使都不在

当我痛苦的时候也只好习惯
当你回来的时候我一定要跟你说
别再别再走开

I'm looking for Vintage bags now.
those brown and black kinds. super hard types.
crazy over vintage! -.-

一生最爱的人

yesterday.

shop eat dota movie. lol.

bought dresses at far east Ztyle & a F.Imp jacket.

Emer got a converse & 2 smart checkered.

Ate at surabaya indon restro for dinner.

my spicy ayam penyet. lol.

played dota at Dome before heading for our movie at 935pm.

we catched the mist.

the whole of fareast and everywhere else in orchard was super super packed la.

everyone doing their CNY shoppings i suppose?

hurhur.

the mist is a must watch !

it kinda thrilling, filled with a lil comedy and the ending is uber sadness.

and this movie is one where you can never predict what will happen next.

very unexpected huh.

but it seems like, its abit about christianity.

where their leader thinks he knows it all but in the end it's he who failed and the insane lady whose right when she preaches non-stop and all started listening to her. tsk.

and when she's shot dead cos she's too irritating, the whole fuking cinema clapped for her. LOL.

this movie is actually originated from a storybook by Stephen King who is very known for his horror stories.

4* for this ^^ i wouldnt mind catching it again. fuking nice.

die la, its my last day to study for business stats.

i got to buck up!

then left with one more IT paper and it's the end of my course!

weeeeeeeeeee. ;P

ps/ life. so siannnnn :x i want more dota!

:)

Should I get navy blue stockings or purple stockings? ARGH!
online shopping. crazy crazyyyyyyyy.

study,movies,shoppin',eating ( i want my indonesian ayam penyet! ) and dota!!!!!!!!
went to dome lan alone just now, played dota for 55mins, and followed by sight seeing for some online blog shop.

something's wrong with my JAVA, and so, i cant do DBS ibanking :/
boohoohoo.

and i havent step into BQ for a very very veryyyyyyyy long time \:

neither have i last seen Anicia and that was like before christmas! :(:(
miss her lil naughty baby too. cutie pie. awwwwww.

keep bleeding -love-

Now what if I never kiss your lips again or feel the touch of your sweet embrace.
How would I ever go on?
Without you there’s no place to belong
Well someday love is going to lead you back to me
but till it does I'll have an empty heart
So I'll just have to believe
somewhere out there you're thinking of me

Until the day I let you go,
Until we say our next hello
It's not goodbye.

gotta clear some things in my head.
truly know what i really want.
maybe what he said is true.
maybe not till it's really definite that there's no way out.
why are we so sticking to what we said and not even giving in a lil'
if it really means let go..
maybe we're not fated.

-clearmymind april-
think
think
think!

i'll prove myself. 1 day.

蒲公英的约定

im kinda lost.
im kinda stress.
im not a good planner, not good with words, not good in handling matters well.
which it all sums up to A DISASTER.

and what a disastrous day today.
holy ...
a good talk is what we need to have and during an arguement, do not instrude the other party when his talking halfway.
when you just cut into his conversation and he cuts back into yours, this will lead to a bigger quarrel.
so, before anything, just let him say finish his piece and then you explain your part.
in which i hope, both will turn out peaceful and well.
quarrels, aguements, fights, get people going crazy.
not too much, not too lil, just the right amount to set the relationship going on fire ;p

relationships, life, human nature, friendships, families are just too many things a part in our life that we've gotta handle.
too much too many..
24hrs 7 days, not enough to get into good relations and settle everything with all?
time oh time, slow down will ya?
cause i felt like i'm getting older day by day, so quickly and in a blink of an eye, another year has passed when last new year still seem so yesterday.

and this april's 21st birthday.
i need plans. ideas anyone?
im kinda bored with sticking to opening a chalet.
i dont know..
i need IDEAS.

good night !
singapore blog shopping drives me crazy with their in-thing of vintage/retro dresses and cute lil belts that you could pair them up with black leggings get girls going ga-ga-ga-ga. -.-

Lady in red

read the women's weekly just now and it talks about making your 2008 resolutions a realistic one.
not those super hard to fulfill.
and i've thought about it and planned it thru.
in which i think it's not that hard thou.

- I wana go Bali and Hongkong/Taiwan
- Stable job, real stable. for at least 1 year (good already)
- take up make up course/PA course (maybe)
- slim down to 45
- savings investment scheme (LOL)

till now, i still do not know what i want in life.
pretty bad ?
i'm afraid that each job i took up, it will end in boredom.
i'm just this fickle minded.

lastly, i miss eating at miss clarity cafe.
i so wana eat thier bread and butter pudding.
let's go there one day smiley :)

audrey, meet up soon. when? ;p

听说爱情回来过

有一种想见不敢见的伤痛
有一种爱还埋藏在我心中
我只能把你放在我的心中
这一种想见不敢见的伤痛
让我对你的思念越来越浓
我却只能把你把你放在我心中
nice song :)

how days fly.
been so busy.
cant update my blog.
the FIT project la!
make us go crazy.
yesterday burn midnight oil just to do the proposal till 4am.
and just now, finally done with the flyers and others.
but i doubt i'm gona get gd grades for these.
argh, heck la. FIT sucks :x

next week, study week alr.
week after, exams.
week after, NO MORE SCH FOR APRIL! GRADDDDDDDD.
yea, i would be left with waiting for results.
at the meant time, gona look for temp job till results are out which would take like super duper long.
dont know how it feels to be going back to workforce soon.
maybe soon after, i'll miss studying.
and then, you'll see me quitting and go for the advance dip course.
nah!

i wana go barks cafe. marie, next week. on ?
lol.
off to bed. presentation's tomorrow. tsk tsk tsk.
CNY is coming. i need loads of sundresses!

月牙湾 - F.I.R

Home pub yesterday with mer mer, pat, and his cousin.
Saw cleveland there, and then gerald.
Coincidence huh?
Always saw them at waiting bar but so happened all were at Home yesterday.

Half a bottle of Martell left, with 4 people to finish it.
I realised it really took super slow for 4 people to finish it man.
Went there at around 10plus and my last glass of alcohol was at closing man!
Super full.

Cabbed home.
Chatted under the block with pat till dawn.
Talked about all the primary school & secondary school days.
Those memories ya (:
Come to think of that, I could vividly remember primary school nerdy me in specs. LOL.
And how much Friendship problems do girls have those days man?
Childish us :P

Well, I wonder how could one define how mature one person is?
When I was much younger, I always think that I'm mature THEN.
But now, to think again, I wasn't at all.
As for guys, they've got NS to give them some discipline and put aside their EGO.

And to those guys who think that they're very handsome, pls, keep comments to yourself.
Even when people see, they know, I guess they did rather keep quiet.
They just don't wana praise you and let you get highhhh.
Then you'll start being proud and snobbish.
Nothing much to gain. Too much to lose.
With what that comes out from your mouth may ruin your reputation but then again, if you don't care so why should I?

I shan't comment at every FAT people I see on the streets cause I truly believe you'll get your karma or rather, RETRIBUTION :)
Maybe the only people I'll comment when I see are people acting weirdly or those attention seekers.
Please think, every passerby that comes your way, did not offend you.
Then, what right have you got to comment them?
Oh please, if you think you're very handsome? then, think again. look at your own reflection in the mirror.
But if you're gona say "it's a fact" about those people I comment.
Why not just keep them to yourself?

Humans humans, and their complicated thoughts in a simple world.
Retribution, I do believe in it :)

The Restless Heart

When I think back, I will laugh at myself.
For such foolish things I did that I know, it wasn't worth.
My past, simply horrific.
Too many unpleasant memories that lingers in my mind.
Since the day that I understand what memory means, that's how much you know that I'm haunted by my pasts.
My regrets, just keeps repeating.
And I, don't want to make the same mistakes I do each time, out of foolishness.

April's Past - The good, the bad and the memorable ones?
It's all over.
There are some where I'd like to hide, but not in any part of my mind.
Shoooooooo.

April's present is loved. My present tense.

That's you

:)

♥ ♥ ♥
Changing my life with your love has been so easy for you
And I'm amazed every day and I'll need you
Till all the mountains are valleys
And every ocean is dry, my love...

snap !

Sony's Cybershot T200 Digital Camera

I'm so gona save up for this digital cam.
It's features and functions made it all so worth it to buy :)
Price at $649
Holy...
Saving time!

nostra culpa?

taken during lab lesson. cam-whoring is the best thing we could do ;P
it's super boring ya!

money-in, money-goes-out.
money is like water in my drink. tsk tsk.

national treasure is a MUST watch! 4.5* :)
it's super interesting riddles and adventures will get you going gaga.

and that darjeeling limited movie is sucha waste of my time and energy all wasted on that show.
maybe it suits more for the older generation who would find that movie rather comical but it's just plainly talking all the wayyyyy.
definitely not my kinda movie.

i'm gona save up.
new yr clothes, heels, bags, hair extensions, make ups, just so much i need to do!

been long since i last stepped into boat quay.
not too often ya.

a day to be treasured :)
nights sweets.
till then, i shall see you again, allthebest.

It's not goodbye - Laura Pausini

Now what if I never kiss your lips again
or feel the touch of your sweet embrace.
How would I ever go on?
Without you there’s no place to belong
Well someday love is going to lead you back to me
but till it does I'll have an empty heart
So I'll just have to believe
somewhere out there you're thinking of me

Until the day I let you go,
Until we say our next hello
It's not goodbye.
Till I see you again
I'll be right here remembering when
And if time is on our side
there will be no tears to cry on down the road
there is one thing I can't deny
It's not goodbye

You'd think I'd be strong enough to make it through
and rise above when the rain falls down
But its so hard to be strong
when you've been missing somebody so long
It's just a matter of time I'm sure
but time takes time and I can't hold on
so wont you try as hard as you can
to put my broken heart together again?

----------
yet again,
people made this world complicated when it's meant to be simple.
how can a world be simple when it's full of problems?
i'm not perfect in your eyes, i can't be perfect in your eyes.
i can never will.
pls accept that fact.
i can never will live up to your expectations cause it's simply too high.
i'm just the plain jane, someone seeking simplicity and nothing more out of complications.
will it be any better or will we be happier if we were so much this perfect in a relationship?
i did rather be simple, be happy and not be perfect.
cause no one is perfect and that everyone has to accept.
pls accept me for who i am.
i'm not the meanie, i'm not a bad person, i just want everyone near me, dearest to me to be happy.
even if money is the root of all evils, then problems will start because no one is in the mood for enjoyment and that's cause there's no money yet we want more quality time spent together.
both of us give in yet both of us do not give in.
both of us tried our best.
both of us wanted the very best.
but both of us don't understand each other.
both of us lacks communication.
both of us don't get each other needs and wants completely.
but. truly, i trusted you from the very start.
never once had i ever doubt you even if there's something hiding i believe it did just be a white lie and nothing to ever wana harm me.
and i know, what i've done is nothing big, small lil' things yet i guess it's not even alot to fulfill your wishes, to fulfill the beautiful imagination in yourself that you have moulded it in your mind of US.
yet, we tried our best.
but, it just kept going on.
why can't we seem to hear the good, the positive, the sweet words, praises and all?
devil, you're just somewhere around doing some harm.
causing all this shit.
if i could choose, pls. remove my memory.
start afresh, know what i should say, understand better his needs and wants and TRY, with my very best to fulfill his needs of being belonged.

*we're far beyond simplicity, too far too far. can never catch up.
happy talks, happy outings, the start; just so beautiful.

thoughts of the day

it's been sometime since i pour out my feelings to a blog.
mostly are just everyday activities and in the past almsot everyday i would talk mostly about my feelings and all those stuffs,
kinda random huh?

sometimes i wonder if ranting is a place to show how you feel? or leak out some lil' secret or what does it even helps for.

it's been a long time since i last had this weird feelings in me that suddenly came back.
in a relationship, or rather with someone you love, is pride a very important thing?
mostly it's guys who have that kind of MCP (male chunvinist pig) character.
somehow, girls do want to save their own face.
but to those people who doesn't have any pride in them are people who are willing to go all out in a relationship, for someone they truly love.
thsoe are the people we can envy, for putting aside their face.
and not borthering so much in what others has to say.

in first impression, we can never stop bitching about others and our mind will just be like, this person sure ain't decent. but still, it's till you really know someone well then that's when you can say how you judge a person.

gossips - the inevitable thing that everyone just can never avoid for all ages.

how does things even works out in a relationship after some time?
it's not about quarrelling and to see whose the one in the right or in the wrong and keep fending for yourself that it wasn't even your fault.
it's about compromising and giving in to each other wants and needs and understanding each other to a more higher level.
to understand someone might take a pretty long time, not to mention to prefectly know someone well.
it's best to draw a line between seriousness and jokes.
certain things has got its limitations.
and a couple's feelings are much more sensitive to just the plain usual friends.

once in awhile, its good to sit down and just have a good talk with your other half.
it can be about anything under the sky.
your likes, your dislikes, your agreements and disagreements.
even no matter how different we can be in character and thoughts, one will still get to know each other better and what ever to say and not to say to avoid the other party from being hurt?
it's just about accepting the other half for who they are. ACCEPTANCE.
and not trying to ask them to change but unless in certain things that has gone way out of hand then talking it out will be a better way.

people say, 2 people who are not similar in any way will turn out better in a relationship.
because, you have more to learn from opposite parties, everything is just different.
then what about in thoughts and having the same sentiments.

i have many questions in mind and no answers to it yet.
all i can do is ask for people's opinions in what they think.
who will be the one to lead me to the right answers?

certain books really do help, especially one that has to do with self-help.
it will definitely change your thinking to a higher stage of maturity.
of course, everyone has got their playful sight no matter how old are they.
like how much your dad still loves to joke around.

i might wana get 5 signs of love languages or maybe 5 people you meet in heaven.

the many qns to my mind, pls. gimme an ans for it.
i forever so curious.
cos i wana be on the right path soon enough :)
its takes time for people to mature. that i have to understand.

and one thing i've learnt in my past relationship,
when i've things planned for the future and i make sure that it has to happened.
for example it could be outings and all, but each time it had been turned down.
i would get freaking pissed off but lucky, i calm down quickly and just let things be each and every single time this happens.
i've leant that, not everything will go in your way, sometimes letting how things be will be a better way out.
at the end of the day, just close your eyes and the next day will be a better day.

i wana see actions more than words.
time for my nap after so much in thoughts. :)

for your babies -simply red

i am at dome now.
and they're dota-ing now.
someone teach me dota lei.
w patience :)

so is it a surprise later?
ahem.
i sian..
played team fort till i giddy.

im waiting till 1st feb : my last day of sch and exam :)

its heaven u know?

for your babies is a nice song. hurhurhur.
i gona get olivia ong's album!

k update soon, :)
misses.

It's been quite a long time since i last cry my heart out to TVB dramas.
i used to watch them like everyday, not wanting to miss any episode of it.
look at me now, i dont even have the time for TV.

and DOTA, im still learning it.
went to civil service club to play lan just now.
lol.
its at bukit batok man.
i've been travelling so far recently.
wth.

and im in need of cash.
whole bucket of cash.
damnit.

life doesnt comes easy.
and if it did, then u are some lucky bastard.

oh ya, not forgetting that I Am Legend is a nice show to watch despite the numerous shocks i got not from the screen but some idiot sitting beside me trying to scare me away by jerking.
heh. :)
not funny.

red line, AVP2, across the universe - oh i so wana watch them!

Fine dining places to try~
Hog's breath cafe @Chijmes
Villa Bali
Dempsey Road
Altivo
Mr Bean's (notbad)
andmanymanymore!
now im craving for some timsum and hongkong cuisine. sighs.

最爱的人伤我最深

HAPPY NEW YR :)
hope 2008 wont be a year for sufferings, heartbreaks, pain, cries and sadness.
hope money keep rolling in. hahaha.
yea, and hope tat all my frens will be happy and lived life the way it shud be :)

fer countdown,
went to Obar with eunice baby, sophia and some of their frens.
eunice as always was the first to get high and started wishin everyone happy new yr.
funny shiat la.
and ya, was offered tequila.
jus keep gulping it down. it really sucks :(
and den, its my turn.
i got fuking drunk.
i could vaguely rememer tat i vomitted, and whatever nonsense that comes out from my mouth.
i was crying away. den i started laughing.
and ya for wat fuk did i even cry ? i also dono sia.
omg.
maybe too happy ar. 2008 lei. LOL.
emerson came to pick me and went back to meridien hotel to join his colleagues thr.
thanks for looking after me :)

new yr resolutions:
i just hope that in time to come i will soon be led to the right track of life that im leading :)
and a stable career which i could finally make up my mind in what i wana do and stick to it.

and i wana learn how to shuffle!
hahaha.
my first lesson is soon.
hock seng's gona teach us how to shuff! LOL.